End of week 21 (disappointed myself)

I know I am going to that time of the month when I want to be locked in a closet, but still felt good about this week.

Tues Aug 17 upper body. Good upper Body, heavier weights, getting stronger

Wed Aug 18th Cardio. Although very nervous, and it being tough I made it through and was pleased. Beating my distance. On the board 1.26 :)

Thursday Aug 19 Lower body. Started a whole new set of lower body...I enjoy the change, although back to lunges which are so friggin hard, i know I will be sore

Friday Aug 20. Cardio. Gained 2 pounds of muscle. Its working! I got myself all pumped up for today, ready, no complaining, just gonna do it, have a half day of work, a great weekend planned, nothing can stop me....then with 5 minutes left in cardio the weak person inside of me took over and I jumped off...what a disappointment. the drive home sucked in my head...Jon was upset, i am upset. I know I could have finished. Won't happen again, this feeling now sucks more that the feeling i have that makes me want to jump off in the first place.

The new exercise that i am doing for my calfs now left a bruise the size of the pad on my thighs...must talk to Jon to see if we can do something different. Must look up why I bruise so easy...I have been that way my whole life. I have bruises all over my legs

End of week 20

Why do I lack so much confidence in myself when it comes to doing it.....again I have made such strides in cardio, I have exceeded where i wanted to be and yet I am still coming close to (but not) jumping off the damn treadmill with minutes left...Am I insane? I have faith in Jon, who clearly knows I can do it....is it just easier to fail than succeed? Not saying I will fail or have failed, but the lack of my believing in myself is still deep inside probably screaming to get out, just been locked up for so long.

Will write more later, but really did have a great week.

Tues Aug 10th upper body. Good upper body. feel great

Wednesday Aug 11 Cardio. Really pushed it, and I accidently saw me past the 1.25 mark...I was thrilled, but not seeing the numbers really help me

Thurs Aug12 Lower body. Jon went over how I have progressed from when I started...the weights really have changed, i am sooo much stronger

Friday Aug 13 Cardio. It was very hard to stay on, but I did with success and felt great about it. So glad I have the weekend now to rest my muscles. Jon is pushing me to exceed all my expectations

Great week (end of week 19)

had a great weekend. Bike road on Saturday and Monday night. Sat was 6.5 and monday it wad 7 miles. Took look at the unfinished trail, it will be nice when done. Went to beach. had pizza on Saturday and pasta on sunday, but other then those 2 foods and some alcohol, i did fine. Oh Thai on Fri night.

8/3 Tues. upper body. Felt good to push it today. getting more strength

8/4 Wed cardio. Brought my number blocker and Jon really pushed me, but it felt good, i survived. I felt strong, I really trust he he knows what he is doing. I did my first set of jogging 2 minutes, then a run for a minute...eventually all 4 sets in my cardio I have to get up..i couldn't keep just doing 2 minutes of a fast jog and a run. I made it. Wonder what Fri will bring. Jon wouldn't tell me my time or put on board. I did better, he said, doesn't wan to spook me

Yesterday was so busy at work. I had a job due then we went ot with my boss's, boss's boss, from corporate office, i couldn't make the first hour with her in question and answer time but she took us bowling. She go us Pizza, but i didn't eat any, and bowling didn't come back to me as I thought it would. I used to be an awesome bowler wit good form. I was dropping the ball, not bending dow enough and my legs were killing me after.

8/5 Thurs lower body. Good lower body. Still hate sit ups

8/6 Friday cardio weigh in day. I needed a good weigh in...4.5 pounds lost..yeah. Thrilled, so total lost now is 41.5 pounds. Cardio I was a little nervous. He said I was gonna be pushed more than Wed. and I was, I made it, still don't know my distance, he wouldn't tell me...just knew it was up. We did the first set with 2 jogs and a run and ended the same way, so i know my distance was further! I am better off not knowing...the numbers scare me...I am a freak. Now to enjoy the weekend