Survived 3 weeks...YEAH

Thurs 4/15. Lower body. Tried some new things...one of which I feel I am still to big of a person to do but will talk to Kristin about it...could only do 4 or 5 and feel they weren't good's ones. It was for the abs. Did the ball today with no help from the wall...usually have my feet against the wall to help with balance....I seem to have gained some balance. No leg cramps which is great.

Fri 4/16. Cardio. Was giving myself a panic attack at 4:30 in the morning thinking about how I felt after Wednesday's cardio...but tried to turn it around saying I can do ANYTHING for 20 minutes. Preparing for my Cardio, I kept thinking about the biggest guy still on the Biggest loser who jogged his first 20 minutes straight on the treadmill..then continued to do even more. Anyway Kristin kept the speeds the same as Wed. I survived, barely....and I felt better friday all day then I did Wednesday, so that is progress.

Sat 4/17 Upper body. Weigh in day. Now I got on the scale on the sly right when I got in and it said I lost 4 pounds then warmed up for 5 minutes on treadmill and officially weighed in, this time it said 3 pounds lost....So at least 3 pounds....so I was happy. I still lost pounds........pounds that will NEVER to be on me again. It's my birthday on Tuesday. I have Monday and Tues off of work....Jeff and I were gonna go away, but friends convinced me to not break my cycle of working out, so we are just going away tonight, for 1 night, to have some fun, enjoy some things I like to do...but still be careful what I am eating...this is a tough week with birthday celebrations. Tomorrow night with the family, I am sure I will eat out tonight....just have to watch it.

Trying to Welcome the Acceptance of Pain

Mon 4/12. Cardio. Maybe because I had a day off or maybe because Kristin keep pushing, but again cardio is just HARD. You think you can't endure another second and Kristin says "come on Sue 30 seconds left...10....5....and its done....then I choke, and try to catch my breath. I know if I have liquid or food in me, it would be all over the treadmill. I want my body to accept the pain but all I feel is resistance...is that the way its suppose to be

Tues. 4/13 Upper body. Heavier weights, feel burning in so many different places in my arms, can't believe there are so many different muscles to stretch

Wed. 4/14 Cardio. The hardest EVER thus far. right shoulder cramp, lower abdomen cramps, didn't think I could finish, but made the 1/2 mile in 10 minutes and made the mile in 19 min...have no idea what I finished with, as all I was concerned with is trying to breath again....took over an hour to stop sweating when I got home. 28 more cardio days left...what will i be writing about on June 18th?

Noticing the changes

Thurs 4/8 Upper body. Tough...getting into reps of 15 pounds and 24 reps of 10 pounds....not so easy, pretty stinkin hard to tell ya, I have never had any upper body strength even in my thin days. I hope to one day do one push up. Never been able to do one.

Fri. 4/9 Cardio,going in I knew we were never turning back, hitting the mile was a definite. My goal in my head was to hit half mile within the first 10 minutes, with my logic being it won't be so insanely hard at the end to push to make it....I almost made it, hopefully next week for sure, but those last 3 minutes are still hell...but made the mile! :)

Sat. 4/10 Lower body 6:30. Get an extra hour and half extra to sleep, yeah! Weigh in day! ok. I lost only 2 pounds...BUT in regards to fat and muscle, since the beginning I have lost 4.97 pounds of fat and gained 2 pounds of muscle, which is great! Jeff has been really good support. We don't get to do anything anymore on friday nights cause I get weighed in on Saturdays and I am not drinking. So I cook and relax and go to bed early. So people ask me if I feel any differently since starting 2.5 weeks ago....since making so many lifestyle changes. Besides the workouts 6 days a week at 5 am I eat only what I am suppose to, I don't drink AT ALL (except on Saturday nights) and even then its greatly reduced. I drink 80 ounces of water a day. So from this I have noticed:

• The daily 24/7 aches & pain I used to have diminished except for the pain of working out.

• I walk faster, standing taller everywhere I go.

• My foot problems have improved...some how?

• My skin is softer due to all the water I drink.

• Taking less of my daily medication I have been on (which is awesome)

• I can walk to my class at Tunxis and not be totally out of breath

• I can just turn over in bed easily.

So that's all great...they only thing is I am completely exhausted by the afternoon. I have energy in the morning, but it feels like midnight for me by midday....I know that will change, and I lose weight. I have a very very long way to go. I know it's at least a year at this to get 140 pds off at least in a year, if not longer. Took 14 yrs to put it on, why would i think it would come off so fast! So I am happy!

Making the 1 Mile Mark

Mon 4/5 Cardio Day...Survived an Easter with all the food, I made a lot of things I could eat and I only had one serving. It was a beautiful day, had time to sit out in the yard before and after dinner. This morning was cardio. Kristin keeps kicking up the speeds at the end, I was actually scared today I was either going to fall off or hyperventilate or throw up. I didn't do either of them. i survived. Someone who is a runner probably doen't get how hard it is to run 3 minutes straight. (jog actually). Even typing it...it sound easy, but its not! Her goal for me this week is do the mile in 20 minutes...think we were .93 this morning

Tues. 4/6 Lower body. No cramping for the first time, which is good, but nothing is getting easier cause K keeps adding more weight!!!!! I guess I better get used to the fact this is all never going to get easier, just harder and more challenging.

Wed. 4/7 Cardio. I was trying to put myself in a positive mode of "I can do this" Everytime she picked up the speed I kept saying to myself" you are a runner...you are a runner" ...Then.....I heard those words from her..."we are going to hit the mile this morning." Yikes! But I did it, running last 3 minutes, going even faster last minute...but I did it...thanx to K to keeps pushin me.

Finished First Full week

Thur.4/1 so surprised waking up hasn't been a problem. Lower body this morning with me getting another cramp in my back upper thigh. Clothes feeling better, have more energy....looking forward to Saturdays weigh in. Finally no more rain...yeah. Long day with a work out and teaching class.

Fri 4/2. Cardio this morning, with Kristin kickin it up a notch, felt like I was going to throw up again in the last minute. That would have not been pretty. I like cardio days, sweat a lot and then come home have more time to relax have a shake to cool down before shower. Took a walk at lunch today with the girls. I held everyone back but they didn't mind it was a beautiful day. I am still out of breath walking outside...I am sure that will get easier with time, happy I got more exercise today.

Sat 4/3 My alarm never went off and by some miracle I work up 6:50...(have to be there at 7 on Sat) Weigh In....big let down for me only 3 pounds, for the working out and completely changing what and how I eat, I was expecting at least 5 pounds...but Kristin was happy and fine with it. I was annoyed. It will not discourage me and I feel so good, and she keeps pushing me, it will only get better, the weight HAS to come off with what I am doing. Came home energized and it's a beautiful day.

Official Start of Week 1

Mon. 3/29: Still real sick, calling out and going to doctor....but still met at 7 am to go over nutrition. Kristin and I met to over nutrition, foods should and shouldn't eat, how to keep the daily food log 6 meals a day which will be a tough transition, with each meal having balance with protein and carbs. Doctor appt 2pm...respiratory infection. He said I still can exercise if I am not to fatigued

Tues 3/30 Feel like shit.....Upper body 5 am, 1 hour. Good push on the arms. I have no voice. hurts to talk. Went to work. Should have stayed and rested. Annoyed everyone at work with my cough. Found someone to teach my class, so I could go home to rest and go to bed early.

Wed. 3/31 Actually feel better. cardio 5am. Told Kristin if this will make things worse, I shouldn't do it, she ended up kickin it up a notch, thought I was going to puke...but I didn't. Went to work, feeling better. Looking forward to Saturday when I get weighed in. Need to take a Before picture. I feel better in my clothes. Surprised my feet aren't bothering me as much as they usually do.

Starting Plan B Week 1 (3) day trial

Jeff from Horizons called on 3/22, from me to come in to learn more go over the program, in detail. I went and Jeff sat with me for 2 hours to go over everything, and we had great conversation, about what they can do for me, what i was looking for and i left feeling pretty good about this being "it". I left and started telling everyone this was my plan B. Then the questions started of "when are you starting?" I couldn't answer them. It was too hard for me to make that decision of when. I am glad i did not have to, Jeff called on Monday and said I am starting on Wednesday for my 3 day free tryout at 5:30 am with Kristin and if i like it I can sign up on Saturday. I was thrilled, he gave me my start date.

3/23/10...Went out to buy work out clothes.

3/24/10. waking up seemed to be easy, got ready, there before 5:30. 4 minutes to drive there! Awesome..Went in met Kristin and knew right off the bat she was so nice, read to go, we chatted a little got to know one another a little. I left my Biggest Loser 9 page application with them to read to get to know a little more about me too. Day 1 weigh in 283 BMI 51, weight of fat to lose 140 lbs. REALITY, YIKES, I want to be 140 pounds, I know what it feels like to be 140 lbs for goodness sakes! Upper body work out tough, nice Kristin right next to me doing reps, pushing. went home, my arms were so sore I could hardly hold the hairdryer up to dry my hair.

3/25/10. woke up scratchy throat, ignored it. Cardio, treadmill. Kristin changing the speeds up and down, up and down. I asked her if i would be running by the end of the 12 weeks...she said "I am sure", never knowing I was going to be in a full jog for my last minute which took me by surprise. It was a long ass 60 seconds, but i made it.

3/26/10 5:30 Full blown sore throat, staying home and resting. Today lower body workout. I was sure this was going to be easier since i feel my legs are stronger than my upper body, and my legs do hold up a lot of weight, but no, on top of getting a horse cramp in the middle of a set...the next morning I couldn't even walk, My calfs were KILLING me, I couldn't straighten my legs all day and I felt pain I never experienced!

3/27/10 Woke up sick and coughing. But still went officially signed up for 12 weeks on Saturday. Costs a lot of money but what a difference...i cold never get this much out of a workout by myself, she is there pushing me motivating me, we get along, laugh, have things in common. She wants me to succeed, and will help me get there. Plus we are alone, if I want to scream in agony, I could. She is great, I feel great, besides this pesty cough. Rest the rest of the weekend!

Monday first full week, Monday we go over nutrition